Tiffany T. Conyers, LCSW
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psst.... i'm in recovery!

4/2/2021

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Not everyone knows this. But, I am in recovery. I remember the last intervention that saved my life. Here is the back story: August 2018, I took that brave leap from one aspect of social worker to the next. I went from managing a team of professionals who provide mental health mobile crisis response to accepting a full time social work teaching gig at a local university. I felt ready for this new adventure, even with the mixed nervousness and excitement.

The unknown demands of college faculty life was what made me most nervous. I was leaving a very predictable job (as predictable as crisis work can be) to one that required me to learn new skills and work muscles that I never knew existed. I was familiar with teaching already. I started off as part time faculty in 2017 and went from teaching 2 classes  to 5 classes full-time when I accepted the full-time position. Each course was full of new prep, textbooks I had to read, students I had to get to know, and new faculty policies I had to follow. I struggled with time management like never before. It was then that I came to terms that I was truly a chronic procrastinator. I would get anxiety about completing a task that took me out of my comfort zone. So I would wait until the very last minute to complete it. The stress was unnecessary, overwhelming and paralyzing. It meant poor performance. ​
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The stress was unnecessary, overwhelming and paralyzing.
"Procrastination is not a productivity problem. That's why people fail — they miss that the real battleground is our mind, not our calendar."
THE SYMPTOMS:
Well, I must admit.  That was me all day LONG. UNTIL I started teaching full-time. My misunderstanding AND anxiety surrounding the demands of grading, class prep, managing the classroom for 2.5 hours each class ON TOP of my own personal life responsibilities lead me to poor sleeping, losing weight, poor eating habits and insecurities that affected my interpersonal interactions at work and at home. Your chronic procrastination symptoms may not be that severe. But for me, it was a real struggle until I asked for help.
Which leads me to my question for you: 
How are your time management skills? Are you a chronic procrastinator? Is waiting to the last minute your thing? Have you convinced yourself that you do your best work in crunch time?
HE INTERVENTION:
​
My help came from an educational specialist named Mandy McGrew. I contacted her department at our institution upon the recommendation of another faculty member who knew exactly what it is like to dive headfirst into teaching without real understanding of the demands. Mandy asked me “Have you heard of Parkinson’s Law? In my ignorance, I replied, “Umm, I have  heard of Parkinson’s disease”. She chuckled and shared wisdom that would change my life forever!


Parkinson’s law is the adage that states an activity or work will take as much time to complete as you allow it (paraphrase). For example: ever wonder how you are able to clean your whole house in 45 minutes when you find out that you were having guests coming over. Or how you could finish your case notes within an hour, right when your supervisor needs them. You only gave yourself one hour...and that’s all it took.  Keep in mind. Time is the great equalizer. We all get the same 24hours of a day. You have the power to give each activity the amount of time you want it to have. Like Captain Planet says, "The Power is Yours!" (I'm an 80's Baby).

THE REVELATION:
If you say, I am going to fold clothes this weekend, somehow it takes ALL weekend to get it done. That is Parkinson’s Law. With this law and finally getting fed-up with the highs and lows of procrastinating I came to some serious conclusions. Grading papers effectively would take x amount of hours. So, that is all I  would gave it. I came to the conclusion that class preparation needed a certain amount of time, per class. So that is all it got. I have 2 hours to complete it, and would hold myself accountable (that’s another blog, :) Understand the principle of Parkinson's law was the intervention that I needed to get me on the right track towards REAL change in managing my time personally and professionally... Could you use a little help?
​​
STRATEGIES FOR THE CHRONIC PROCRASTINATOR
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So listen to a recovering procrastinator. 
​There is hope.
  1. Ask For Help (delegation and accountability can go a long way)
  2. Set Your Timer- give that activity just that amount of time.
  3. Then, “Getter done”
  4. Once finished, Bask in the satisfaction of a completed task (with a treat-optional)
I bait myself all the time to get hard things done. I would tell myself, when you finished (insert least favorite task here) then you can (insert favorite task here). 
​
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Stop IMPoster!

3/3/2021

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All month long in March, Social Workers everywhere celebrate our profession of helping, advocacy, and progression of humanity. With the year, we have hadIf we were honest though, there are moments that almost every social worker doesn't feel essential. We may feel inadequate, ill-equipped and even like a fraud. How do I know? Well, because I combat those same thoughts. I have taught social work students that express many of the same sentiments. I coach rising clinicians and mental health practitioners who doubt their abilities.

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March is Social Work Month!
...and this year's theme is
"Social Workers are Essential."

Sometimes, You may not always feel essential....

These thoughts and feelings align with the term called "Imposter Syndrome". It is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence, according to the Harvard Business Review.  I recently had moments where my "impostering" tried to overcome me. I was sitting at a "virtual" table with other practitioners who I admire giving feedback about ways to enhance services in our field. I found myself thinking of who else instead of me should be sharing their ideas, discrediting my ability, accomplishments and insight all at the same time. I compared my career, my practice history to those who I believed were more worthy of this opportunity. These thoughts led to the impostering that I believe plagues many of us. Once you recognize the signs, try out a few tips below to put that impostering in its place: 
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Here are 3 ways I personally combat imposter syndrome that seems to show up at the most inopportune times:
  1. Be Kind to Yourself: Cut yourself some slack. You are not the only one who has ever felt this way. We all find ourselves minimizing the value we bring sometimes.
  2.  Your Steps are Ordered: Promotion comes from the Lord according to the Bible. He's positioned you and equips you. Realizing that God sent you inspires humility and not inadequacy. It inspires God-reliance and Gratitude.  Thank You Lord for sending me.
  3. It's Not About You: What if you are where you are for someone else? Your skills, talent and hardwork brought you into this space for not just you. YOU WERE CHOSEN to show others His Glory. You are there to be a solution, an example, an inspiration to someone else.   This particular achievement is definitely not about you. You are great for the people you serve!

 Can you think of any other ways to stop that IMPOSTERing in its tracks?

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What are you waiting for?

2/3/2021

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You hear it constantly....
"You should be getting paid for this!"
​"Why aren't you doing this for a living?"
"When are you going to start that... 
(fill in the blank)?"

​How do I know you hear it constantly? Well, because I've heard it over and over and over myself. From countless people. I wish I was paid for everytime I actually heard each and everyone of those phrases (a girl could dream🤔). I even recall each response I would give to those questions too. I bet you have some of same rebuttals to their queries. Well, I'm going to be honest with you. I know you should be getting paid for it. I know you really could be doing this for a living.  What I want really want to know is  "What is stopping you? What are you waiting for?"

I know what would stop me. I know exactly what I was waiting for. I was waiting for perfection. The perfect time, the perfect day, the perfect amount of money, the perfect background, the perfect amount of help, the perfect approval, the perfect amount of confidence. 

What would hinder me the most was the idea that I could create the perfect scenario to finally do something I have been clearly called to do and in most cases was already doing. My need to be perfect would lead me to the second obstacle: Analysis Paralysis.  My overthinking and anxiety to be perfect slowed any progress towards launching out or showing up. NO MORE! 
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Look at me, I just started this blog. Something I have been wanting to do FOREVER! But perfection and analyzing the best way to launch kept me stuck.

What about you? Has your bank account reflected you waiting on perfection to finally get paid to do what you'd do for free? Have you analyzed so much that you can't move? 

No more. Just start. If I can do it... so can you!
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     I write to touch, motivate &, inspire. I bring mental health,  professionalism, marriage, motherhood and spirituality to the dance. 

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  • Welcome
  • About Tiffany
    • Smiles for Miles
    • WhollyMamas
    • Upcoming Events
  • Services
    • Clinical Supervision
    • Private Practice Development
    • Perinatal Mental Health Consultant
  • Blog